There is a wonderful feeling that comes with finally making the decision to change. It's so freeing and relieving, and it feels like a huge weight has been lifted off your shoulders. It's almost like you know you’ve taken the first step and the end result is soon to follow.
But there is another feeling that occurs shortly after. Some writers have termed this next stage "the messy middle," which is the time during the change that is hard and brings on its own challenges. The messy middle is the time when you feel like giving up or, even worse, you start to feel angry with yourself for getting into this "mess" in the first place.
Recently, I had a conversation with a good friend about her weight. She had gained 20 pounds after beginning a new relationship (don’t you hate it when love becomes fattening... hahaha). She was already in the process of losing those 20 pounds, but she was having a hard time wearing any of her clothes. She knew she was headed in the right direction, but she was spending a lot of time upset with herself, with how her clothes looked, and for getting herself into this predicament in the first place.
Rewind just a few months before that conversation – my best friend told me it took her exactly 4 years to pay off $40,000 dollars in debt. WOW! I practically jumped out of my chair when she told me. $40,000??? That seemed like such an incredible feat to me. But what she shared next was the priceless piece of information that not only did I need to hear, but that I knew my friend trying to lose weight would benefit from as well.
"The first two years were miserable. I constantly made myself feel guilty for even getting myself in debt in the first place. I would even tell people that I was broke and couldn’t afford to do anything. Then, after two years of misery, I decided I could do this one of two ways... happy or miserable. I decided that happy sounded better. The last two years of paying off the debt were so wonderful. Every day I would celebrate every small step I took toward the goal. I would celebrate every bit of success and remind myself that I was headed in the right direction."
Isn't that the case with your own weight loss and health journey? Making the decision to lose weight is the first step, and the easy part. It is that messy middle where our brains start to unleash their demons.
You start to say things to yourself like...
"What's the use anyway?"
"This is just so hard."
"How did I get myself into this situation?"
"Am I ever going to lose this weight?"
"Am I ever going to see the finish line?"
Not exactly a bunch of feel good statements, right?
But what would every day feel like if, instead of these berating and insulting thoughts, you had these empowering thoughts instead...
"That one choice I made at breakfast this morning was a huge accomplishment. I am doing awesome."
"I made it through my tricky tempting hours without indulging in my same old unhealthy snacks... go ME!"
"I’m so proud of myself, I maintained the willpower to resist major temptations at that party. The old me would have overindulged in bad food and drinks. I really can do this!"
Flooding your mind with affirming and encouraging thoughts is a much better way to get through that messy middle. For some it could be the difference between sticking with their plan versus giving it up.
I'll never forget when I hit a little bump in my own health road. I had just met Stewart, my dear hubbie, and we were going out to eat pretty often (there's that love weight again!). It crept up on me so slowly, but before I knew it, I had gained eight pounds. Eight pounds may not sound like very much to you, but on my small 5-foot frame, it meant none of my pants fit. I mean none!
So, I decided to do two things: the first was to jump right back in to my health plan and slowly lose the weight I had gained. The next thing was to buy two pairs of pants I liked, so I had something to wear during the messy middle. Buying pants that fit helped me to feel good through the process. Even though I was not back at my ideal weight yet, I could at least wear clothes that were comfortable and I looked good in. I was loving myself in the process. And by the way, after I lost the weight, I donated the pants to a woman’s charity, which also made me feel good.
What do you need to do to ensure you are loving yourself in the process?
Is it changing the words you speak to yourself every day?
Is it buying just a few articles of clothing so you feel good about how you look at this moment?
Is it celebrating every small step of success you have along the way?
Consider that if you're going to go through the process of losing weight and elevating your health, you can do it one of two ways... HAPPY or miserable. Notice I emphasized happy. If you are reading this, I know you have already taken the first step – you've made the decision to take great care of yourself. That, in and of itself, is a huge accomplishment and one worth celebrating!
Make the decision to choose joy today and spend your time HAPPY, no matter where you are right now in the process. Sure, the journey won't be perfect, but it will be much more enjoyable if you take this path full of joy in your heart.
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